Taking the trash out, picking the trash up, taking it someplace else. Rotten friends trash, people we used to love now love someone else trash. White, red, black trash. Dumpster dive ten times three trash , splash. Technique, trailer trash. Revenge on the cruel trash world trash. White flag, red flag, blue flag trash in three colors, wave your trash.
Gold ceiling, gold floor, gold pancakes. Gold girl with gold way with words. She liked the burnt sky she liked almonds smoked with hash oil soaked with lavender leaves, gold one, gold path. Gold detour. Gold gold? Gold gold.
Flaw was a scab. Picked flaw scab. Found self. Traded for better idea. Chosen found self. Traded by broker. Broker dialing it in. You have zero remaining recognizable flaws. Best of luck. Enjoy it.
What you value will be mocked to your face. You will not be understood and you will not even care to be understood.
There will be problems you can never solve. You may find there are not even problems. Nights and years will pass (and nights and years will pass) and you will live your life in closed rooms and you will find that you did so by choice, and you will weep for nights not spent under the stars and the very elements you once went inside to escape. Now you escape from people. You will avoid new contacts except through necessity and keep a distance between yourself and others, and all in the name of the most holy – something you will question always.
And little by little the human touch will evaporate from your veins, and though your voice will grow stronger and louder no one you care about will be around to listen because you will have left them all behind. And the whole time you’ll be in the room, in rooms across the country maybe, perhaps the world, but rooms all the same, crafting and sharpening your own personal sense of beauty. So that what? So the few people who care enough will do the same. Because remarkable lives are no longer lived in public. Humanity is not something we can proudly take part in, and though it seems to have failed… who knows? There might be a chance that some time in the future the seeds of belief will find the right people to grow in, and righteousness will return to the earth in the bodies of human beings as we know them.
_____________get all of this out of me______________
GET ALL OF THIS OUT OF ME: SUBCONSCIOUS IMITATIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE: THIS LANGUAGE, THIS ATTITUDE, THIS CONSTANT DESIRE FOR TACOS, PUNCHLINES, WHAT IS THE NEED FOR THEM? WOULD I EVEN THINK THAT WITHOUT YOU? RESET. ERASE ME FOR THE TIME. LET ME SEE WITHOUT ATTACHMENT. THINK FASTER THAN PUNCTUATION AS A RULE, FOR THE TIME, GET ALL OF THIS OUT OF ME: I AM HAPPY TO LET IT FILL BACK UP AGAIN, WILL WATCH IT EVEN WHEN I’M MAKING LOVE — SPEAK DIRECTLY TO ME, DO NOT FORGET, I AM RECEIVING THIS AS MUCH AS I’M WRITING IT — RIGHT, SO A SILENCE, IN WHICH THE DUST IS DUST. EVEN WHEN I’M MAKING LOVE. TALK TO ME. DO NOT SHARE MY SECRETS WITHOUT ME.
if someone you know is engaged in domestic abuse
if you are in an abusive relationship
if it helps to just spit it out
if the streets are overflowing with mucus
if this is not what you voted for
if nobody knocked on your door
if you act on chance eye contact
if you’re not careful
if the fire within is capable
of being sparked
by a last-minute costume
if you keep listening to the same song
if you need more structure
if you are overflowing with hope
if you are never to be taught in the universities
if mankind is out of fashion
if everything has been described
if it is true, and you have already packed your bags
if it makes sense that people know you by name
if you let go of your fears for just one afternoon
if the timing is right
if you are bold enough to risk self-righteousness
if the respect of your family is not your ultimate value
if you have to keep stopping
to record your truths
every five steps
and it slows you down
so that you miss your appointments
if you’re not afraid of getting sick, or hurt, or
if it is your job
if you can’t make burritos with dignity